Six core elements of influence and persuasion part 2

3 people triyng to influence and persuasion each other by table

Persuasion: Liking

The persuasion of people prefer to say yes to people they like. This is obvious but what causes people to like someone else? There are three clear ways to get someone to like you:

1) People like people who are like themselves.

You can match or mirror the person’s body language, tonality and word usage. You can talk about mutual interests for example you might support the same team or have a similar hobby. Once you have found something to connect on it will be a lot easier to build report. If you want to increase a prospects intention to buy, it would be a bad idea to talk loud and fast when they talk slow and soft, much like it would be a  bad idea to talk slow and soft when you talking to someone who talks loud and fast. If they talk soft when you talk loud they will think that you arrogant, and if you talk slow when they talk fast they will think you dim. It is crucial to talk to people in the same way they talk to you. Match their tonality and pace but remain respectful. It would also be a bad idea to use slang to a person who does not communicate in slang so pay careful attention to the language. If your prospect uses slang and you can naturally match them, do so. When you use slang at the wrong time it is very good at report breaking. If in doubt, avoid using slang.

2) People like people who pay them compliments.

You don’t want to be caught brown nosing. You could loose instant rapport if you come across as disingenuous or sarcastic. People have this undeniable need to feel loved and validated. You can use congruent tonality to match that of a compliment but do so ethically. I suggest only give genuine compliments. If the customer made a smart decision coming to see you let them know, if they doing a great job at something related to what you sell, let them know. If they have a nice shirt or dressed to impress let them know. The key is only pay prospects compliments that are earned and true.

3) People like people who cooperate with them and help them achieve their goals

If the product you trying to give to your client helps them achieve their goals, gives them value and they are aware of this then it is very easy for the client to automatically like you. People get frustrated when they feel a lack of cooperation. If an angry client is breathing down your neck it is easy to go into defensive or offensive positions but the real position of strength is to join them on their side and cooperate with them. Help them achieve their goals by being on their side. Mastering these three elements of ‘liking’ will strengthen negotiations, sales, customer satisfaction, marketing and public relations.

Persuasion: Scarcity

People want more of those things that there are less of. If something is rare it is generally more valuable even if it is not really functional. The economy is loosely based on the principle “supply and demand”. Scarcity is based on supply and demand, less supply (products), the demand automatically has to pay more to get the goods or services. This means you can expect to sell faster or at a higher price. (ceteris paribus)

Here are three ways to make a product scarce:

  1. Use a time based deadline over no time based deadline (could be a date)
  2. Use a limited edition product over just general edition based products
  3. Use limited seats available over unlimited seats available. (Be specific)

An old plain chair that is 200 years old cost more than a new sophisticated one. This is because the supply of this chair is scarce, we can not authentically duplicated a 200 year old chair because it has a 200-year-old story. It does not matter that we do not know what that story is. When your product is not scarce you can tell your customer that they can get the product anywhere else if they want, heck, they may even get it for a better price, but then you remind them that they won't get you. You as the salesperson are part of the deal. You're scarce and you can't be duplicated. This works very well when you have an existing relationship and reputation of excellence. If your approach is to target your prospects with scarcity based on you being the only thing that is scarce. Then it is very hard for a customer not to do business with you provided you come across as a genuine person, sharp expert who is enthusiastic about what you do.

Additionally, the core thing you need to do is to focus on the benefits. This is a million times more important than listing the features. People can't use features, they can only use benefits. Include this into your scarcity pitch and you should yield a positive results.

Persuasion: Consistency

People like to be consistent with the previous things they have said and done. What they say and do resembles who they are. Sure that this is not always the case but it is more often than not.

You can activate someone’s consistency by asking and looking for small initial commitments that can be made by the person. If you ask them to buy a magazine on a specific topic, it's much easier to ask them to subscribe to the magazine for the full financial period thereafter, (compared to asking them to buy a 12 month subscription upfront).You want your customer to make a small commitment first before you ask them to make a much larger commitment. People usually stay true to who they say they are based on their words and actions.

Another example is asking a community to stick an “arrive alive” safety board in the front lawn of their house, most people would not be keen on that but if you had asked that same community to put a sticker or postcard on their front window a week earlier to show their support, they would be more receptive to have the arrive alive sign on their lawn. This example is very similar to an actual test done by Robert Cialdini. Beyond the scope of people staying true to whom they say they are, you can take it one step further. People tend to stay true to whom they believe they are. If you consider yourself a smoker, even if you try and stop smoking, you will always pick up the habit again because it is part of you, you believe that you are a smoker. This is great for the cigarette industry but how can you use it in your business in a positive way? The first thing you need to do is understand your customers and from there you can help them develop the narrative in a way that is beneficial for them. Ethics is a key.

Persuasion: Listen don’t talk

A quick way to influence people is to listen to them, ask intelligent questions and to not do all the talking. It is usually the one who is not talking in a two-way conversation who is controlling the conversation. If you listen to someone you are instantly build rapport. They have a higher chance of liking you because they are sharing their interests with you. You want to control this by the questions you ask. This way you can control the conversation and make the sale or at least leave a positive first impression.


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